Jokes

It seems there was this very bright but somewhat uncultured young man named Jethro who grew up on a farm in the rural South. Because he scored well on his SATs and graduated from his simple country high school at the top of his class, he was pleased to find himself accepted into Harvard University. On his first day on campus, he took a stroll to acquaint himself with his new surroundings. At one point he stopped and asked a typical, blue-blooded Harvard upperclassman for directions.
"Excuse me, mister," Jethro asked with a Southern drawl, "but can you please tell me where the library is at?"
"See here, young man," the upperclassman scoffed at him. "I don't know about what they do in East Hayseed, Tennessee, but here at Harvard one does not end a sentence with a preposition."
"Oh," Jethro replied, "then allow me to rephrase the question: Where's the library at, asshole?"

Reporter: "How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?"
Yogi Berra: "Closed."

Prof: So the American government went to IBM to come up with a data encryption standard and they came up with ...
Student: EBCDIC!

NEW YORK:
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.